21 Days to LIFE

Sometimes I have to stop EVERYTHING...

To hop a new track.  
Break free of the grid I'm playing on...
The one I'm playing out. 

A logical mind, my greatest addiction.
Narrating the same stories,
Over and over
...and over.

Sometimes, everything in my wake is crashing...

But sometimes 

MOST times

Things are "fine"

Maybe even "good"

...but I'm still falling apart inside.  

Here, I ache and wander

Lost in stagnant waters, 

FIXATING.  

A loss,

A heartbreak, 

A perpetual fear,

        The disintegration of imagined control...

A longing.

Where nothing is left,

For me.

Of me. 

A shell of who I once was.

  

How do I break through perpetuity?

How do I get to the other side 

Of nothing?

When life stops moving, touching, inspiring...

When forward feels like downward, 

And upward feels like drowning...

All I can know for sure,

A crumbling is imminent –

And I won't stay numb to the wreckage.

Or I'll die here.

And it might not be quick.

Anesthetize or Dismantle

Every choice,

Its own cycle.

Death.

Life.

Passing on.

Moving toward.

Where there's memory,

There is strategy.

And I've been here before.

I have years of data collection, 

User errors, 

Well-tracked systems.

I forget to remember.

But here I am again,

Steeped in the knowing...

For exactly what I need:

21 days.  

Gone.

Out of the country.  

Out of routines.  

Out of obligatory tasks that have lost my choosing.

I need the deep dive into unknown worlds...

Of plant medicine

Of other cultures

Of less fluffy comforts.  

Most of all...

I need sanctuary, 

To not turn around, 

To keep walking across the shaking bridge.  

If I want what I want (and I do)

I am leaping from track #3 to #12.  

Fuck #4-11...

I am all dimensions.

I am all timelines.

I am the medicine.

It doesn't matter how it happens 

Or what it takes,

I leave everything behind.

21 days.

Breaking down...

A habit,

Incessant thought process.  

A way of living,

Seeing,

Moving –– 

That's burning me alive.

The threat IS imminent,

My body knows.  

I cry mercy.  

No, that's not it... 

I cry Grace.  

Take me AWAY, 

So I remember what HERE means.  

Where life starts again and again.

21 days.

I stop:

Working out,

Working on,

Planning across daily grids.

I unplug:

Wifi,

Calls,

Clients.

I release:

Knowing my meals.

Knowing what time it is.

Knowing where I'm going when I get back.

I step into:

An uncomfortable descent into No Plan.  

Shedding. Molting. Dying off...

Into nothing.  

A deep, gaping space 

I tear myself open.

Into the gray matter.

Unclenched from what I love to control...

Renaturing.

To what I love.

21 Days.

One more cycle completes.

A light pierces my heart open

And life,

She pulls to me.

Practicing Happy

We have to Practice Gratitude.  Ugh. I know. It almost sounds “played-out”.  I’ve heard it in every yoga class, too.  But seriously, that’s why I adore yoga… if someone keeps saying it to me in just the right way, at some point I’ll understand it.  There was one instruction that always seemed to be missing, or I just wasn't listening...but either way, I realized I needed to practice actually feeling gratitude.

So once that epiphany hit, fostering Practice felt more attainable.  I don’t feel gratitude on accident.  Don’t get me wrong, I am endlessly grateful for all the love and support in my life…but on a regular, run-through-my-day basis?  Sometimes I get caught doing all the things and, well, running through my day!  I have to purposely PAUSE and clear my mind-table and then focus on something I appreciate in life.  There is gold in that practice part.  That, my friends, is where the juice is at.   

It’s a rush of everything yummy.  That feeling when someone gives you the most unexpectedly thoughtful, perfect-for-you gift…grateful to be loved, heard, seen, known. That feeling after an accident when you realize you are OK…grateful for to be alive, safe, held.  That feeling you get when you get promoted or awarded…grateful to be given opportunities, guidance, support.  Through receiving, we have a chance to see and love ourselves how others do.  

You know what else feels exactly the same to me?  Giving.

That feeling you get when you help a stranger, feed someone who is hungry, hold a hand that is alone…grateful for being such a gift of this planet that you can genuinely be of service to others through nothing else but your heart.  It’s really the best, right?   It echoes a sensational resonance of feeling loved, valued, honored, and humbled all at once.   

That feeling runs through the body, nourishing every cell, but can just as quickly get buried beneath the to-do lists, daily tasks, obligations.  Yet, the memory is still vibrating in your physical body.  And all it takes to feel it again is remembering.  

I personally need structure to have discipline.  And if we are creating a practice, discipline is at the very core of its authenticity.  So my structure is to check-in with a journal each day.  I don’t hold myself to a Top 5 Things I’m Grateful For list, although also a wonderful idea.  I sit down and think of one interaction or sentiment; then I write about it for a few lines.  Once a few words splash onto the page, I reconnect to the story, and then close my eyes and genuinely try to recreate every detail in my mind's eye so I can feel it again.

Once you find the thing, the person, the situation, the kind-hearted moment--close your eyes and relive the story.  Play it over in your mind and feel the rush of gratitude washing through your body.  Simply settle into that feeling and allow yourself to experience it again.  Feel the smile on your face, the fullness in your heart, the release of your belly, throat, face.  Boom!  You’ve just put in a Gratitude practice sesh.  No big deal.  And you got to feel good in the process.  My body LOVES that feeling.  I don’t want to rely on outside sources to be the only possibility of feeling "the feeling".  If I practice remembering, I shower myself in that nourishment, love, and support all on my own.  And the more used to it my mind and body get, the more naturally it will flow my way.  It’s like raising vibrational standards.  It’s not worth it to practice small anymore.  And while I will still visit that territory, harnessing a practice in Gratitude has secured a pretty decent exit strategy.

Here’s the way I look at…

Pulling gratitude into your body is like tuning into the Abundance vibration.  When I am busy appreciating, there’s less mind-body capacity to experience wanting/craving or compulsive sensations.  I’d call this other end of the spectrum a Scarcity frequency.  We see severe wanting express itself through a character like the super greedy business-owner who never looks like they “have enough”.  That wanting vibe—it’s competitive, defensive, it would take your wallet if you left it.   

I certainly don't want to live on that frequency, but the truth is, I do want certain things I don’t have.  I have big dreams that I’d like to see come to fruition.  And I also have less important goals, like drop that 5lbs I earned over Christmas.  I want to believe and trust in my desires, but It is easy to get sucked under by the wanting feeling.  And because it’s so easy, I would bet my brain has traveled that Scarcity loop for much longer roadtrips than the Gratitude loop.  This state tends to outfit me in Anxiety and is not the best look. 

Tuning into a different frequency...

When I notice static in my thoughts or life, I can pretty much assume my tuner is jammed on the Wanting station.  How can I help myself not feel like I don’t have something?  

By receiving something. Anything.  Even if it is not the same something.

And I don’t mean go buy something.  In a moment caught thinking about not having or being enough, they are only thoughts killing your vibe.  So tuning into some higher vibe thoughts should be no less powerful. 

So back to receiving.  Think of anything you can remember receiving.  I can think of hundreds of somethings I’ve received—gifts, opportunities, lessons, relationships, sweet moments.  It is never too late to honor any of it, again and again and again.  Voila, that’s how I start.  Once I find “the thing”, and pull in the just-received-appreciated feeling, I practice staying there.  I run it through my body like I’m drawing a map.  Sensing, Tasting, Smelling, Experiencing, Remembering my way back to this space.

Practicing the feeling of gratitude, reminds me how to be.  It reminds me I am not without. It reminds me of fulfilled desires.  The more Gratitude Practice Reps I accumulate, the more time I get to spend in this nurturing environment.  And here, I show up brighter in the world around me.  Journaling is just one of the many ways to open a beautiful gratitude conversation.  I don’t say this because I’m  absolutely crushing this gratitude thing.  I say it because I can totally suck at it sometimes.  And I know, in my bones, the glaring difference.  Thinking myself out of a dark spot doesn’t really work.  Finding a way to feel good always wins…even if it takes a little mindful discipline to get there.   As I mentioned before, my body LOVES the flavor of gratitude, so why not dose with little more of it?  All it takes is me.

A Consciousness Practice for WEIGHT-LOSS

 I originally wrote this pieces for brand new mamas juggling work, baby, relationship, and immense hormonal shifts.  These women embarked on a 60-day journey of self-devotion and transformation with me and experienced profound life changes, well beyond weight-loss.  I realized, this isn't just for the busy moms out there.   This is for everyone, men and women alike.  If you have big goals –– to change your body, eating habits, stress levels, or even open up a creative block, let this speak to you.  

This is the 3rd installment of a series, guiding our focus out of a doing-state and into a being-state.  Here, we open a pathway of clearer communication with the body's intelligence and inherent health codes.  While some of the guidance may seem indirect in relation to weight-loss, I promise you, it is not.   Conscious body connection cannot be discounted in self-transformation.  Within any change – physical, mental or emotional – there is a currently running system in the BODY that also must change.  Listening to the thinking mind day-in and day-out is what has not worked up to this point.  

So read on, if you are curious...and if you're serious, put the challenge to the test!

MINDFUL DETOX PART 3: CONSCIOUS BREAK-FAST

In the previous sections, I introduced the “5 Minutes of YOU” meditation to step away from the grind and chill your nervous system.  Now for the fun part...you can strategically position this much-deserved break for IMMEDIATELY recognized benefits of clarity and relaxation. Yes, the 5-minute breath session is delicious all on its own; but we can also pour it into a space that promotes your physique–transformation goals. 

If your ears just perked up, they should have.   This is no joke.  A simple daily tune-in can help you minimize cravings, calm the constant internal chatter, and actually lose weight!  Before we discuss any further, decide when your next meal might land today and set an alarm to go off about 5 minutes before it.  You are going to gift yourself 5-minutes of empty space to sit quietly and breathe *Before the Meal*.  

After that: I highly encourage this practice at your very first meal of the day, for the next 7 days.  This will set the tone for your nervous system for the entire day.  It also lends potential for practicing in subsequent meals, creating more balanced body rhythms.  

Why? 

We are too often checked into our busy lives to sense where our bodies are and what our bodies need most of the time.  The brain is thinking about the next thing or worrying about the last one…but where is your body? Your thoughts could have you reeling on a situation from last Tuesday, leaving your body neglected and YOU detached from reality.

Our bodies are always present and ONLY present. They have no thought. They are just sensing what is currently occurring.  They are also masterfully relaying cues and messages from current reality… not the fabricated timelines we can live from in our heads. The further our thoughts move from the body, the more likely our nervous systems are running in a Sympathetic state. This means your body thinks it’s “doing” something even when it’s not. The more intense the thought process, the more intensely your body tries to prepare. When action circumstances don’t line up with our action thoughts, the body can become trapped in a soup of stress hormones that never get put to use… aka released.

The Sympathetic Nervous System is for acting and reacting… The Parasympathetic Nervous System is for resting and digesting. We need both. But we need to begin understanding how to travel between them. The state of our health depends on it… including your ability to maintain the best weight for your body.

If your body thinks it needs to be prepared to fight a lion (or argue with your boss), it’s not properly gearing toward digesting and metabolizing your food. This is precisely why I am using meal times as a gateway for nervous system regulation. I’ve worked with incredibly high-functioning humans, simultaneously running households and companies, who don’t feel their stress. Our bodies have such incredible adaptation mechanisms, I don’t expect you to feel when you’re in a hyper-sympathetic state until its way too late. So we create practice, regardless of felt-stress. We down-regulate when it’s meaningful. We reap the benefits of properly telling our bodies “I’m here”. I am creating an environment in my body that actually facilitates what I am asking it to do. Rest, Digest, and Assimilate Nutrients to where they need to be.

Commit to trying this 5 minute pre-meal break 2X this week.  If you skipped the first step already, here is your reminder! Set an alarm to go off before dinner tonight or lunch tomorrow.  AND/OR, when you start feeling any hunger pangs that are outside of your usual eating windows, take an impromptu 5. I am always SHOCKED at how much my appetite cues change when I simply stop "doing" whatever I'm doing, stop "thinking" about the task, stop "thinking" about my desire to snack, and start FEELING. Set a timer for 5 minutes, find some alone space, and slip away for these precious moments.

The Steps.

Sit quietly, feet flat on the ground. 

Let your shoulders fall. 

Soften your face. 

Take a deep breaths and drop your attention to your belly. 

Release all the tension from your belly.

Welcome its fullness – forget about any appearances.

You may want to place a hand on your belly and the other on your heart. 

Allowing yourself to feel held, and by your own hands, has an incredibly soothing effect on your nervous system. 

Let your inhale expand the space between every rib and fill your lungs with air like a deep under-water breath.

Then relax and soften on the exhale. 

Feel the physical sensation of your breath pooling into unseen crevices.

Feel the internal conversation of your body’s knots and openings.

Feel the emotional essence of tension melting away.

Be open to what you sense—fullness, bloat, tightness, pain, emptiness, cramping. 

Don’t try to change or resist these physical feelings.

Instead, go into them; observe them; stay with them without attaching a story, no matter how uncomfortable.

The discomfort will often dissipate if you keep your awareness there.  Feel through it with soft eyes and a soft heart, reminding yourself not to clench.  

The belly is continuously giving physical feedback.  Try to separate labels from sensations of feelings.  It might feel gurgly, but not necessarily “hunger”.  That may just be the label your brain has a habit of selecting when this sensation arises. Checking into the feeling vs. the thought can interrupt habits we have developed around these signals.

Once the 5 minute timer goes off, smile and thank yourself. Do not skip this GRATITUDE step. It is out of deep love for yourself that you’ve invested this time and you deserve both a Thanks and a Your Welcome. This, THIS, is the path to long-sustained transformation.

I’ve mentioned the Gut-Brain link in several pieces. The gut is a connection point for digestion, mood, and intuition.  If you’ve ever felt “butterflies in your stomach”, you know the feeling. This is your intuitive gut providing some very real, very profound answers as to what your body needs.  The tuning-in process, described above, links all those juicy messages to your MIND so you can start wiring actions and new habits in accordance with your truest nature.

If we leave ourselves detached from the body’s messages, it can be damn near impossible to create a new, lasting habit.  I don’t care how many calories you cut or how many hours you workout each week, a dysregulated nervous system can overhaul it all.  When a storm hits, old habits win.  Unless we learn to regulate.

Old habits are what led you to your current position.  The brain patterns are deeply grooved into a preset pathway of how you will react to feelings, motivations, deterrences, self-judgement, stress, time-restriction, social events, etc.  When it comes to food choices, the pattern will tell you how much you are going to eat of what foods; how rushed the meal will be; how much you pay attention to eating vs. thinking…until you purposely hit PAUSE.  And if you desire to change your current position, you MUST demote your brain from being the primary decision-maker.  Profound changes in your eating habits can occur when you intentionally FEEL into this vast network of gut intelligence— it can help you make the most responsible-to-your body choices and overcome cravings in a way no self-talk, self-control, self-deprivation will.

It is up to YOU to invoke action steps to slow down and listen from a more consciously tuned-in state.  You are responsible to yourself in a way no one else ever will be.  That reality can feel daunting OR empowering... but it is a FACT either way.  And the sooner you accept what that means, the more frequently you will experience the latter.

If you read all of this, and it sounded sweet, but your initial thought is "5 minutes is NOT going to happen today”...

I understand.  But that doesn't mean you give up to the old way of thinking.  You've read this far for a reason.  Laying down new habits is HARD WORK.  It can take some serious self-parenting.  I do genuinely empathize that time is limited.  To that end, when life is flying fast, start with 5 Breaths. There is absolutely NO EXCUSE that each and every one of you cannot devote 5 intentional breaths before putting food in our mouths. A little tough love goes a long way. Once this becomes attainable, start setting a 1-2 minute timer. Trust me, the benefit of that minute may look small, but the impact is more widespread than you can imagine. You will start to bridge the conscious connection your body has been craving.

We don’t ever have the time until we make the time.  And just remember, any amount of time is successful as long as you are trying!  There is a cumulative effect to practicing awareness-expansion, and you begin by, well, beginning.  Ignoring the task all together is the only surefire way to fail this mini-retreat into YOU.  I challenge you all.  Next meal, check your mind OUT, body IN.  Observe how it affects your food choices, speed of eating, body awareness, digestion, etc.  You may be pleasantly surprised with the results.  

Email Petersenkatie1@gmail.com for information on my next Body Transformation Program.

Sacred Pedicures and Personal Growth

It is a Saturday afternoon, I have nothing to do and also everything, says my mind.  When is the last time I let it be nothing?  Even better question... when is the last time I let it be all about me.  I glance down at the tiny red paint chips stamped in the middle of each toe nail and realized it had been that long.
I remember a time when I wouldn't let my toes see sunlight without a reasonable ratio of polish to toe nail... so part of me smiled at the woman I have become - who knows who she is, with or without the perfect outfit.  While I'm happy not to be a slave to no-chip, being overly-concerned with a flawless manicure held me accountable to something other than reading USWeekly cover-to-cover in the cozy embrace of a massage chair.  It created a sense of ritual - sacred time - to wind down and luxuriate.  So the other part of me feels a teensy bit ashamed for not devoting more time to myself, the sweet solitude I so deserved.
The sporadic pedicures of Today aren't quite the same experience.  They are obscured with an endless influx of emails and half-written blogs gleaning out from my laptop.  Underneath it all, "I am not doing enough" rides the crest of every thought.  Somewhere along the way, taking a break became another way of saying it's time for forced creative-flow.

What happened to just...
Taking a break?
I felt like my little girl toe nails asking me this very adult question.
So that Saturday, I went to get a pedicure.

Last year, I wrote a blog about that day because it felt important.  I remember sensing incredible vulnerability in offering advice on "how to give yourself a break".  I was a rookie - who was I to offer tips?  When I began rereading the first paragraph, I immediately wanted to rewrite the whole thing and post an even better version.  I even deleted the title, "Treat Yo' Self".
I was a tiny bit humiliated -  judging how I perceived something; critiquing how I expressed it; unconsciously labeling my growth process as UNWORTHY - I've been working on that.
That first notes of self talk arrived...
Oh what I've learned since then!
Why would I keep this posted?
This is no longer me - I swear, I've grown more!
I heard the diminishing tone, devaluing what I saw as milestones in my journey.
I decided to revel in my own transformation instead - taking a break still included my laptop only ONE year ago - but I followed the inner guidance to PAUSE and set work aside, no matter how difficult; and then write about it, no matter how mundane.  Sharing it with the world held me accountable to the inquiry "where has my love not yet reached?"

As I reflect on that Saturday, I understand now, I had been craving ritual.  That aha moment was a stepping stone, guiding toward deeper honoring of my internal rhythms.  I could see a new deservingness on the horizon and wanted to align with a higher frequency of luxuriating.

All self-judgement faded back into the woman I am, who feels beautiful without makeup, who feels powerful just because. 

After further review, I am no longer embarrassed by any younger versions of my experience - how saavy I had been to listen to myself.  I am now humbled by the present moment, in recognition that even now is not an endpoint.   I have become much gentler with myself in all the right spaces - how incredible to know, it will keep getting better.  If this sounds super far away, Treat Yo' Self, is a great place to start.
I retyped the title.
And didn't edit a thing.

This IS me.  This is all of me.  This is part of my wave, my current, my song.

TREAT YO' SELF

I treated myself to a pedicure on Saturday and realized it was the first time in months that I had made time.  And my second, not-so-startling realization—every time I had carved out time, I would work on the computer the entire appointment.   I couldn’t possibly check out to myself for an hour when productivity beckoned, right?!  So I promised that I would not think about work, what I was going to do next, or any of the conflicts/excitements stimulating the surrounding week.  I was going to tune into nothing but the pleasure of relaxation.
So I promised that I would not think about work, what I was going to do next, or any of the conflicts/excitements stimulating the surrounding week.  I was going to tune into nothing but the pleasure of relaxation.

How did this go?  It was freaking HARD.  I had my computer with me and thought (oh silly mind!) that I wanted to work.  I had to remember my commitment; I had to challenge my own thoughts… Do you want to do this?  Or do you feel you should do this?

Who is going to tell you to take a break EXCEPT YOU?

I, like many chronic multi-tasking sufferers, can go NUTS if I am not being productive in some way.  We have to step outside of routine.  We have to step outside of the day’s tasks.  Everything we want to work toward or do, even just laying around, will be there waiting for us; so take a true NOURISHMENT break!  I don’t care what it is… I DARE you to TREAT YO’ SELF in the next 3 DAYS.  Not week, not month…you have 3 days to give yourself some quality attention!

Schedule a massage.  Go for a long walk UNPLUGGED.  Sit in a park with a book you've been meaning to read.  Concoct your own green juice.  Prepare an exquisite dish for yourself.  Go to a restaurant ALONE and let someone ELSE make you a gorgeous meal…it doesn’t matter what it is—but do it by yourself.  This is just for you.  While surrounding ourselves with loving souls can be pure medicine, it's important to feel that sanctuary within yourself, too.  Don’t let nurturing get tangled up with the notion of a "guilty pleasure"…like not indulging in dessert unless friends are “doing it with me”. Drop that nonsense!

Nurturing doesn’t need to be justified.  Nurturing needs to be embodied.

I think women, especially, are innate nurturers; and in this, we can always find someone who we need to help and something we need to “take care of”  before circling this love back to ourselves.  But this people-pleasing paradigm has blanketed us all, well beyond gender lines--it is full-blown epidemic, in my opinion.  It is up to us, to strategize a more consistent attuning into our own desires.  

I used to say this busy-bee nature is just how I am and there’s nothing I can do about it.  This is not false or bad.  BUT, it’s up to me how I meet myself.  Because any part of our nature can get over-amplified…and what IS a beautiful characteristic can sadly veer into an over-stressed, over-obligated, under-nourished spirit. 

Caring for other people and devoting your gifts to helping them could never be a bad thing, though, right?  Good or bad…I am not as valuable to ANYONE if I am not taking care of myself first.  And that means in every ounce of fullness I require in that moment.

When I am burning the candle at both ends, I start to bud tiny resentment seeds that can unfortunately sprout in the most unnecessary places.  And if I hold it in, I can feel even “sicker”.  When I am doing all the time, I am no longer feeling.  We can only “hear” the body through feeling, sensation, subtle observation.  So when I'm not listening, I will not genuinely understand how I am needing to be supported.

A nurtured body will nurture the mind...NOT the reverse.

Catering solely to the mind IS the disconnect.  I don’t know about you, but my mind can be a real salty bitch! The mind is a beautiful thing but entirely too controlling.  It talks louder than the body, overruling our intuition gateway.  Can you hear your intuition?  Are you listening to someone else’s? 

What do you REALLY want in this moment, and the next…and the next?  

One little pedicure set the stage for a full day of ME--letting go of rules or obligations and floating freely with my authentic desires.  Saturday came and went…clarity getting hazier as interactions, situations, and days went on.  But I had a clear understanding I didn’t want to lose.  I, me, Katie Petersen, NEED to focus on nurturing myself MORE.  

Because I feel this grand importance for myself, I know it must be important for others, as I am not so unique.  And while many aspects of my day might "qualify" as "self-care", it is already too routined.  It is expected, obligated to a point of feeling guilty, if I don't do X.  The challenge I am presenting is to do something NEW, out of the ordinary--corrupt your own monotony and find freedom on the other side.  

How have I nurtured myself today? 

I started asking myself this by Tuesday.  As the week went on, I realized how different I felt from Saturday.  The sweet, lovely plans I made for this upcoming weekend was all that I could come up with...and that has NOTHING to do with today, this moment, the only space I actually exist.  Try asking yourself those 6 words each and every day "how have I nurtured myself today?"  And write this one down.... because in forming a new habit, we MUST have consistency to our strategy.  My inability to answer my own question tells me so.  My Saturday epiphany had dispersed from view in only a matter of days!  Invoke this important question into your daily self-care checklist--right up there with brushing your teeth. Set an alarm in your phone; put a post-it on your bathroom mirror; make it your new password--whatever it is, don't just rely on reading this step here, hoping you'll repeat it.  Commit to yourself right here, right now, to be accountable and honest with yourself.  

By Thursday, I had taken noticeable measures to be gentler with myself but hadn't “treated myself” in the way I propose we do.  So I shifted the question, "How CAN I nurture myself" in a new way?  Step 2, if you don't have an answer to "how have I?", ask "how can I?".  I barely knew what I was doing when I began driving out to the Boathouse Cafe in Humboldt Park.  I had seen a stunning photo on Instagram and for whatever reason, that image popped into my mind when I asked this question.  If I waited even 2 minutes, I might have talked myself out of it because the mind LOVES a predictable routine.  Don't question yourself...GO! 

As you can see in this photo, I found myself lounging on a beautiful patio surrounded by trees, water, and and even a live calypso band…speaking to my own heart as much as yours.  In this haven, an escape from the city bustle, I am immensely inspired to pour my gratitude onto paper.  Gratitude for the abundance I experience when I allow myself to just BE.  I needed a break to check-in...to practice capturing this love within myself.  And only in doing so for me, can I even hope to share it with anyone else.  Metaphorical reality across all patterns.  I unapologetically honored my desire for solitude, nature, writing, and non-outcome-based expression.  I feel unconditionally held in this moment.

Where is your haven?

I am blessed to have had that drop of clarity on Saturday…and so grateful it didn't disappear for weeks but merely muted for a few days.  When commitment faded from view, those two simple questions became the litmus test on my follow-through.  Use them.  They are valuable.  And don't get down on yourself if you slip.  The ebb and flow is inevitable.  We each have these profound moments at different times.  It is our DUTY to share them.  I can sometimes feel, if I don’t hold this space all the time, I have no business talking about it.  But the more we share, the more we can believe and harvest this nourishment for ourselves and everyone around us at a greater frequency.  

The goal is refining our doing-ness with our being-ness. Check into yourself.  Be entirely selfish at least once a day in a way that is not already routine.  Set your reminders to do so!  Check into Love.  Self-love.  Easy? No…probably the toughest task we will ever take on.  To quell the mind is a hero’s journey.  And anything heroic that ever happened always took a collective…at least in my interpretation.  So here we are, human beings connecting with other human beings, to learn more about ourselves.  Thank you for listening.  Thank you for caring.  And thank you even more, for caring about yourself.

Now go out there and TREAT YO’ SELF.  If you have read this far, you are already committed!  If you don’t don't know how to do it for you, do it for all the people who love you.  I promise you will show up better for them, too, when you do.